🌴 (happy)

Something that so many people search to find, but rarely ever do. That made me interested in having a piece of it for myself and the people I care for. I'm lying in bed now fresh off the weekend; fresh off of a boring but semi interesting night at a German restaurant that hosted a Holiday Party for my bestfriends job; fresh off a couple sips of beer, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes and kale salad; fresh off a couple episodes of dragon ball z; fresh off a FaceTime chat from someone so far away, but I still consider them my lover of sorts; fresh off a dream about blood, and death and then some pop star who was clearly present to upstage me at some pep rally or something...fresh off a scroll through tumblr, fresh off a scroll through Instagram - I'm brought finally to this moment where I am typing fast, and trying to condense my thoughts so that you can understand. So that YOU can get the gist, as well as me. Happiness is only something that can be defined by you and what you choose to do inside of a moment. It has nothing to do with what is out and all to do with what is in. Your environment, how much money you have, the people you know, the places you've visited are factors, if you let them be factors. I'm still on a journey to find a sustainable happiness, but sometimes I ask myself is happiness sustainable? Is it something that we can build up and keep? I'm not sure yet. I am sure that we are granted these moments in life and soooo many people waste them and loose them forever, I wasted some myself. I've been trying to be aware and conscious of the miracle it is to be alive. To be able to communicate and love and create - though it be a hard journey...I think that's the point. Life would be no fun if we had all of the answers. 

so a note for myself and you if you wanna take it: be grateful. don't think about how far you have to go, think about how far you've come, all of the stuff you had to battle, and move past. You're glorious. And don't you ever forget it. 


 I did not take this picture.  

I did not take this picture.